Uma pessoa muito muito querida morreu ontem. De overdose ao que parece.
Tem algo de muito estranho em perder uma pessoa que a gente gosta. O Ravel então... Porque o Ravel era a redenção de uma cidade inteira praticamente. Não dá pra explicar bem o efeito da morte dele. A gente não vivia grudado, não como o Carlo e eu, por exemplo. A gente se via pouco, mas não posso esquecer de que quando eu cheguei aqui em Jau, e me senti a mais deslocada e solitária pessoa do mundo, eu conheci ele, e ele me entendeu tão bem, porque eu era muito louca pra essa cidade, mas claro que pra ele tudo bem.
Ele era tão inteligente, que eu acho que se sentia sufocado pelo mundo! Devia ser insuportável pra ele viver aqui, mas eu não sei...
Tudo isso vai passar. Essa sensação estranha de agora. A família, o Carlos devem estar destruidos, claro. Tantas coisas na cabeça agora.
De repente, ontem e hoje, me senti mais sozinha do que nunca, não sei bem porque. Acho que é a morte que faz essas coisas com a cabeça da gente.
Eu tenho medo de voltar a usar, mas tenho mais medo de não usar nada, porque ele tinha razão. A vida é estranha, e subtamente insuportável, nos momentos em que a gente menos espera...
"Duality"
I push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I have to take...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah!
I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my time's elapsed
Now, all I do is live with so much hate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise
I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!
Put me back together
Or separate the skin from bone
Leave me all the Pieces, then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality is better than the dream
But I found out the hard way,
Nothing is what it seems!
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!
I push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I have to take...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah!
I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my time's elapsed
Now, all I do is live with so much hate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise
I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!
Put me back together
Or separate the skin from bone
Leave me all the Pieces, then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality is better than the dream
But I found out the hard way,
Nothing is what it seems!
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!
